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Saturday, May 7, 2011

Tonight...


Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't we have just worked out? I mean, I loved you with everything I had. We were fine...and then something changed. I'm not sure what. Me...You...US? I don't know. I just know it killed me inside to know that we had so much going for us and we let it slip through our fingers. Talking with you these last couple of days has brought back feelings that I put away 6 months ago. And I miss you. So SO much. You are coming to AZ to live in just a few weeks...and I am so proud of you! This is what I told you would be good for you. To get away...Live your life! I'm glad that you are doing what you really want to do instead of holding back like you always do...

Why DID you hold back with me? Why couldn't we have worked it out and moved on? We are young and I know that...But we could have been happy.

And now I am missing you like crazy. I'm thinking about you when I should be thinking about someone else....I can't focus on him because I'm thinking about you constantly. Today was a bad day with him...I was rude, and unforgiving. I was a brat. All he does is try to make me happy, and keep me that way. But I just want to be mad at him. For no reason in particular either. One small thing set me off today and I didn't talk to him for most of the night. We were hanging out so it's hard to not talk to someone when you're hanging out....all I could think of was how I am going to screw this up like I always do. I have so much on my plate right now that I don't have the time or the strength to go through this.

I love you still...but I don't want to. Because in all reality I KNOW what I want...and it's him. 100% HIM.

But tonight....All I can think of, is YOU.


1 comment:

  1. First of all I love that song. I found it a couple weeks ago and it is one of my favorites.
    Second of all....call me. Whats going on? I am here if you need to talk/vent! Don't forget even though we don't talk all the time we are still best cousins. Always and forever! Love you girlie.

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